Peace in the Household

Photo by lilartsy on

It had not been good times for 4 years with my previous roommate. She was terrible… lied, manipulated, was lazy, and gaslit me every time I tried to suggest she change her ways so we could have a more harmonious living environment. It was never her fault; I was the problem. Me.

That was also the issue. I let myself believe I was the problem. I spent so much time in my childhood, teen years, heck even into my 20’s believing I was the issue; I knew nothing else. So living with someone who mimicked my mother’s behaviors was really difficult. It took me a good year to see through her lies and manipulations. Then I started fighting back, which only made it worse. My aunt and I tried mediation meetings, and she denied all fault in her actions. I tried letters, and she’d write snippy notes back. I tried one on one’s with her and she’d promise to change but then reverted right back in like 48 hrs. Long story short, we finally evicted her.

A few months later… I recently welcomed someone new into the house, Iz*. Although younger than me, she’s a Veteran and very well mannered. Excellent on communication and working together. I like how she talks to me about every little change to the house instead of just dropping her stuff in the living room and leaving it there for months on end. She’s honest and calm; I find myself relaxed for the first time in 4 yrs and not even upset if something’s out of place or left out for the night. My OCD went insane with the previous one… this time; I’m cool as a cucumber. Maybe because the presence isn’t invasive and “up in my face.” Iz* is nothing like my previous roommate; Iz* is respectful and kind.

It’s strange that I’m in an adjustment period though. Getting used to a good roommate versus a bad one. Being able to trust her, share things, let her make changes to the house without freaking out, etc… All the things I’ve never been able to do (well except with my golden era roommate.) All I can equate to is holding your breath for like an extremely long amount of time, and then letting it out and breathing again. I feel like I can breathe again.

Photo by Alex Fu on

Published by silversky87

34yrs old, avid reader and aspiring writer. I believe the fire of inspiration can take us to unknown and magical places. I’m a dreamer... Also been through some tough stuff, don’t underestimate me nor bet against me!

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